Lilian Louise Staveley (1871–1928) was a Christian writer and mystic whose anonymous works have only been credited to her after her death.
Early life
Lilian Louise Staveley (née Bowdoin) was the daughter of James Bowdoin (1811–1897) and his wife Charlotte Kate (née Costobadie) (1839–1920). Lilian was born to an affluent family, descended on both sides from Huguenots of the old French nobility. Her early life was not one of outward religious observance, but was rather one of privilege and learning. Along with two brothers, she was educated by tutors, governesses, and at boarding schools. She spoke four languages fluently and spent her summers in Italy.
I was worshipping the Beautiful without giving sufficient thought to Him from Whom all beauty proceeds. Half a lifetime was to go by before I realized to what this habit was leading me—that it was the first step towards the acquirement of that most exquisite of all blessings—the gift of the Contemplation of God.
As a young woman she became an atheist; a painful decision with which she struggled for two years.
My intelligence said, "Resign yourself to what is, after all, the truth: console yourself with the world and material achievements." The heart said, "Resignation is impossible, for there is no consolation to the heart without God." I listened to my heart rather than my intelligence, and for two terrible years I fought for faith.
While in Rome, visiting the temples, she was moved by the beauty of her surroundings and "a longing for her Lord so painfully real that the longing could not be denied".
